


An Expedition Through Uncharted Territory

by shittyfoureyes



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Awkward Boners, Awkward Crush, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Best Friends, Canon Related, Developing Relationship, First Crush, First Dates, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Mush, Friendship, M/M, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, No Angst, Pining, Puppy Love, ereri, oblivious idiots, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-30 02:19:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5146667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shittyfoureyes/pseuds/shittyfoureyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Ereri Fluff Day 2015.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

Levi has been watching over Eren for a long time now.

On the very day he became aware of Eren's existence, Levi was the first to volunteer for the task of monitoring him, but he was not the only one vying for that job. When the trial was held to determine what would become of Eren and who should be given custody of him, Levi insisted that _he_ must be the one to keep his eye on Eren and vowed to kill him should the need arise. Levi further strengthens his argument by, among other unspoken things, reminding Commander Erwin and the military police of the fact that he's the best man for the job, or rather, the _only_ man for the job; he _is_ Humanity's Strongest Soldier after all. Who else would be better suited for the task of taking down a titan than he?

At least that's what he told them.

Titan powers aside, the truth is that he wanted an excuse to be near the mysterious, wild-eyed boy. He was intrigued by him. Wanted to figure him out. How could someone seem so meek one moment and in the very next be foaming at the mouth with bloodlust?

That's all there was to it.

Duty. Curiosity. No other reason. Definitely not because he couldn't he couldn't tear his eyes away from the big green ones that followed him everywhere he went. No. And _surely_ not because the boy's passion and determination thrilled him in a way that nothing ever has before. Perish the thought.

So it began.

Over the many months of having Eren Yeager under his care, he faithfully performed his duty of keeping his eye on him at all times and watching him for the moment, _Walls be merciful, may it never arrive_ , that he'd need to leap into action and kill him like he'd promised.

As the days and months rolled by, Eren had proven his loyalty a hundred times over, yet Levi still kept his eye on him. Perhaps a little longer than usual. And he watched, perhaps closer than was truly necessary.

He slowly began to notice that Eren was doing the same, for what reason he did not know. The lingering glances when he thought Levi wasn't looking. The stupid look of awe on his face whenever he spoke to him. The nervous fidgeting and the way he stumbled over his words whenever they were alone.

The more time that passed, the more something tugged at him, again for reasons he did yet not know.

That is until one day, with a long groan, it dawns on him.

_Shit. I think I'm in love with Eren._

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Levi isn't sure what to do when he comes to terms with this startling revelation. The prospect of romance had never occurred to him until now, and he didn't think he was even _capable_ of experiencing the feelings he is currently drowning in. The agonizing. The longing. The doubt and the insecurity and the foreign sense of warmth whenever his mind drifts of its own accord to thoughts of Eren.

Thoughts of how determined Eren is to master any task set out for him. Simple things like being sure his cleaning meets Levi's impossible standards, but also more difficult things, things for which he lacks the natural talent, skills he still strives to develop even after countless failures. His strength. His will. His dedication.

Sometimes they are thoughts of how bright Eren's smile is, how kindly Eren treats everyone around him (with the exception of Jean Kirstein, though he can't fault him for that). Thoughts of how self-sacrificing he is, of all the pains and horrors he has to endure, of how strong he remains through it all despite his fears and uncertainties, all in the name of helping others. His ability to turn into a titan to kill, and in the very next breath become a human who loves and cares for friends and strangers alike. His honesty. His openness and all of the bravery that requires.

And, on more occasions than he is proud to admit, _other_ kinds of thoughts make themselves known. Thoughts of how mesmerizing those huge green eyes are, how soft that messy hair might feel between his fingers, how attractive his well-trained body looks when bound in the tight leather straps of his 3DMG harness, how perfectly round and firm his muscular...

That's it. He can't take it anymore.

Levi is a man of action. He needs to do something to ease his pain. He refuses to sit around waiting, spending his life pining like all of the bashful young girls who swoon and blush whenever he passes by them in town, or any of those same lovesick maidens who swoon and blush whenever _Eren_ crosses their paths.

Oh, how he wishes he could block their view whenever they set their longing eyes on Eren. How he desires to let them know just how unworthy they are each time Eren sees their lovelorn gazes and bestows upon them the priceless and coveted gift of his smile, they, with all their shameful sighing and disgusting puppy dog eyes, who have never done a thing to earn the right to Eren's affection. If anyone, it should be _him_ that Eren smiles at, not all of these childish, undeserving...

He needs to do something. Now.

But what?

He still doesn't know, so he goes directly to the only place he can think of for answers. The only person who can devise a strategy that surely will not fail. The only man he trusts completely.

Erwin.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Eren is in trouble. Deep trouble.

He's tried so hard to deny it all this time. It's silly, really. Entertaining impossible fantasies like these. Honestly, what interest would Humanity's Strongest Soldier _ever_ have in a snot-nosed brat like him? Especially since he's probably the last person on earth that the Captain would choose. He's a titan. The Captain hates titans. Everyone hates titans.

But he can't. No matter how hard he tries to tell himself it's just childish hero-worship, how hard he tries to hide his stupid sighing and kill the fluttering butterflies that appear in his stomach whenever he sees him, he just _can't_. He's in love with him.

Always has been.

He knows it's stupid and he's ashamed of just _how_ in love with him he is. He doesn't dare tell anyone about this, not even his best friend. He knows everyone would laugh at him, or worse, tell Captain Levi! Just the thought of that ever happening has him absolutely terrified. Maybe he'd get lucky and a titan would break through the wall right then and there and swallow him, sparing him from a fate _far_ worse than being eaten. It's happened before, so he knows. It's really not that bad now that he thinks about it.

But it hurts. He wants to be near Levi so bad. He wants to be able to call him Levi, not sir. He wants Levi to want to be near _him_.

Maybe it was simply hero-worship at the beginning. From the very first time he saw Levi returning from an expedition outside the walls, he felt something. He remembers exactly what he was thinking that day. He was thinking that Levi truly looked like a hero riding confidently through the gate on the back of that majestic stallion, and he couldn't have been imagining the ray of light that parted the clouds and shone only on him, his pale skin glowing, silky black hair gleaming like polished onyx. How exciting! Captain Levi is *right* *there*! Can he see me waving? Maybe if I cheer louder he'll look over! He's so brave and strong! Captain Levi is so cool! Captain Levi is everything a hero should be! So amazing! So handsome!

Shit.

Back then he was just one kid among many in a sea of people watching the Survey Corps ride through the gate every single time they returned from an expedition beyond the walls, there was no _way_ Levi would have ever given him a second glance. But now? Now that he's grown? Now after Captain Levi himself invited him to join the Survey Corps? After he insisted on being the one to watch over him from then on? After how he almost threw up when Levi told him he was "not bad"? After how he nearly fainted when Levi sat down right next to him and practically put his arm around him???

He curses the tiny glimmer of hope that gave him because he knows he'll never be the object of his affections. Still, _what if_...?

 _It's only a crush_ is what he tries to tell himself. _Only a little crush_ that he's had since the day he first saw him. _Just a tiny, tiny crush_ that makes his heart ache so much that he can hardly bear the pain, and he's had his limbs cut off before. A silly passing crush that he'll eventually grow out of, that's all.

It's a lie and he knows it. It hurts so much he wants to die.

And he _could_ have died, too. Many times. The only reason he hasn't yet is because his knight in shining armor swoops in to rescue him from danger every damn time.

It's even worse now that he's noticed how much Levi has been staring at him lately. Levi's always watching, it _is_ his job to watch him after all, but this seems way different than usual. Every time he feels the Captain's eyes on him, his stomach churns and his thoughts race, his anxious mind supplying him with every possible reason that he could be looking at him like that. _Can he tell?_   _Does he know? Is he mocking me behind my back, telling everyone how hilarious it is that I'm in love with him, as if he'd ever want to date me?_   _Does he even like men that way? Am I creeping him out?_   _Oh my god, does he think I'm a pervert?!_

Logically he knows that it's probably just because Levi's pissed off about something as that's usually the case. It just makes it that much harder because he wants those smoldering grey eyes on him for another reason entirely.

He doesn't know how much longer he can last. He thought this feeling was unbearable before, thought it couldn't _possibly_ get any worse, but oh, he couldn't have been more wrong. Fighting titans is child's play compared to this. It's only a matter of time before his impulsiveness gets the better of him and he does something incredibly stupid. How long until he fucks up and makes Levi hate him, until he completely obliterates any minuscule little sliver of a chance that might not even exist of Captain Levi ever liking him back?

If he lost control and did what he really wanted to do when Levi stood in front of him this morning to adjust his harness, he would _definitely_ be a dead man, no doubt about it. Dead. Stone dead. Face down. Dead. On the ground before he even realizes it. Dead as a doornail right there in front of everyone. Because if he didn't die of mortification, Levi surely would have killed him.

That is, if Mikasa didn't get to him first.

  

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

"So, Erwin. You've been in love before."

Erwin looks up to see Levi leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, his face blank in indifference, which is nothing new. He stands up partway to greet him, but sits back down when Levi casually strolls over to his large mahogany desk and makes himself comfortable in one of the leather chairs in front of it.

"Are you feeling alright? What's this all of a sudden?"

"Shut it. I want to know how people do this... love... _thing_."

Erwin appears visibly shocked and puzzled at the Captain's unusual question. He knows that Levi, a man more guarded than even Wall Sina, wouldn't be opening himself in such a manner if it wasn't something serious, so he foregoes any teasing, sighing as he settles into the creaking chair behind his desk across from Levi.

"Which 'love _thing'_ are we talking about here? Do you need me to tell you about the birds and the bees?" Okay, so he can't help but tease him a little.

"Fuck you, Commander Shit-brows. You know what I mean. What do people do when they want to be with someone?"

"Hm. Well. Where to start," Erwin ponders this for a while. His left elbow is propped on his desk, thumb and forefinger framing his jaw, stroking thoughtfully while he brainstorms. He furrows his brows before raising them when an idea finally comes to him. "Does the person know your feelings?"

Levi pauses. He hadn't really thought about that. He's never behaved toward Eren in such a manner that would suggest anything but a sense of care and concern for him, always careful not to let on that he has been secretly pining over him for what must be nearly a year now or that he has more than a professional interest in protecting him. Eren's never said anything to him before, so he must not.

"No."

"I see. That's important. First and foremost, you need to tell the person how you feel about them."

"And how would someone do that?" _Just walk up and say, oi, Eren, I'm in love with you?_

Erwin suppresses a chuckle. It's obvious that Levi is woefully inexperienced in the ways of romance, but, as his friend and mentor, he has a duty to teach him this new set of skills, just as he taught him how to lead men on the battlefield.

"You could just tell them directly. Though, that may be a little forward for some. You can start out with something easy like complimenting them," Erwin observes Levi's stony face, remembering exactly who it is he's talking to. "Politely. As a gentleman would."

"Hm." Levi is calculating.

"If they seem amenable to this, you may consider occasionally giving them small gifts. Simple things. Nothing extravagant."

"Gifts."

"Gifts. If they accept your gifts, that's a good sign that they may also welcome further attentions."

"Such as?"

"Well, traditionally, you would court them."

"The fuck does that mean?" _Court them?_

"Let them know you're interested. Pursue them. Spend time with them. Win their affections. Perhaps offer to take a stroll together. Or a date. Ask them to have dinner with you. Again, nothing too forward."

"Mmm hmm. Dates. Makes sense. Is that it? That's all I have to do?"

That confirms it. It's as he expected. This is not merely a hypothetical interest.

"Well, if you're serious, part of the proper protocol is asking their father for permission to court them. If he gives you his blessing, then you may further proceed in wooing them. Or that's at least how it's usually done."

"He's dead." _Did Erwin just tell him to *woo* Eren? As in flowers and sappy poetry and all of that romantic storybook shit?_

Levi shifts in his seat and uncrosses his legs, swinging the opposite over his knee instead, his face showing the only barest hint of uncertainty. No one else would ever pick up on it, but Erwin is not just anyone. Levi's preoccupied mind forgets this.

"Unfortunate. Can't be helped then. I think most people are in that position these days. Though... that _does_ make things much easier," Erwin is shell-shocked at this completely unexpected conversation he's having with Levi, especially the fact that he actually seems _nervous_. He would have never, _ever_ imagined discussing such things with him, at Levi's request, no less! His curiosity is more than piqued. He knows the odds of Levi answering are slim, but he can't help himself. "So, does this mean some lucky woman has caught your eye?"

"No."

Add befuddlement to the list of things Erwin is feeling at the moment.

"Compliments. Gifts. Dates. Easy enough." Levi gets up from his seat without even looking at Erwin. Erwin can practically see the gears turning in his head, mentally calculating, forming a plan of attack.

"Good luck."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's made of mahogany! Mahogany.
> 
> And not just any mahogany! Mahogany from the planet of Malchior 7, where the trees are 300 feet tall and breathe fire! 
> 
> ...also it's a very fine material. Very expensive.


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

It's just Levi's luck that he passes Eren in the hall right as he's leaving Erwin's office. It's his first chance to test Erwin's strategy and, knowing that Erwin is basically a strategic genius, he's certain that it will succeed. Erwin's plans never fail. Time to put it into action.

"Oi. Eren."

Having just walked past Levi with nothing more than a nervous glance, Eren's back is already to the Captain when he hears himself being addressed from behind. Eren freezes in place, posture stiffening, feeling quite anxious all of a sudden, and for more than one reason.

"Yes, Captain?"

Levi assesses Eren when he turns around to face him, looking him up and down, just now realizing that he hadn't actually thought about what he was going to say to him. The silence stretches on until Eren becomes uncomfortable, unsure of why Levi is looking at him like that, wondering if he's about to be scolded for some poorly executed task.

Levi finally decides what he's going to compliment Eren on and clears his throat.

"Your uniform looks clean."

Eren is at a loss for words. He blinks dumbly.

"Um, yes, it is clean, sir. I washed it this morning and changed into it after practice." He is always sure to be as clean as possible in hopes of impressing Levi. Or, at the very  least not disgusting him. His heart flutters. _He finally noticed! Shit, calm down. Don't do anything stupid. Oh no, don't start sweating now! Nooooooo!_

Levi didn't know exactly how he expected Eren to react to his compliment, but this wasn't it.  For some reason Eren only responds to his praise by looking like he needs to take a piss, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, fingers fidgeting nervously with the cuff of his jacket, expression growing more wide-eyed the longer he stares at him. Eren's eyes drop to some unseen detail on the floor beside him, unable to endure his Captain's intense stare a second longer.

"Very good."

"Thank you, sir," Eren mumbles, his thanks sounding more like a question than a statement. He shyly looks back up to his Captain, who is still staring at him with his usual unreadable expression that is somehow even more unsettling than normal.

Ah, there it is. Success. Levi walks past Eren without another word, mentally congratulating himself on his first victory. Eren is still frozen in place and Levi concludes that the boy is most likely basking in the praise he has just received.

All through the week, Levi is sure to praise Eren every chance he gets.

_You don't smell like horse shit._

_You didn't run out of gas during drills for once._

_Your cleaning was satisfactory today._

Levi, confident that he's won the first battle, now mentally prepares himself for phase two. This time he makes certain that he won't be caught off guard again.

Eren is confused as hell.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

Eren is sitting next to Armin at a long table in the mess hall where most of the other scouts from various squadrons are engaging in their own conversations with each other in between spoonfuls of the watery stew that they have for dinner every night.

"Armin... have you noticed the Captain acting kinda strange lately?" Eren has only eaten a few mouthfuls of his stew, preferring to stare at it instead. He's leaning against one propped-up arm, head resting heavily in his hand and looking down blankly at his other, which is currently occupied with stirring and scooping up spoonfuls of stew that are then poured back into the bowl, none ever making it to his mouth.

"What do you mean?" Armin, however, is not even looking at Eren, favoring to shovel his own dinner into his mouth in great gulps, barely swallowing in between bites. His mouth is even full when he answers him.

"Well... He's been paying a lot of attention to me and saying weird things." Eren doesn't know what to make of the Captain's odd new behavior, but he can't say he minds the attention. Even if it confuses him, he'll take what he can get.

"What kinds of things?" Armin chews and swallows, finally giving Eren his full attention. His huge blue eyes are fixed on Eren in interest, curious to hear what sort of gossip Eren has for him, though Eren's own eyes are still glued to his ration of lukewarm slop. Stew. Whatever. Same thing.

"Stuff like telling me that I don't smell. Or that I don't need to redo my cleaning."

"That's not really that weird. I mean, think of who we're talking about here."

"Yeah, but he's also been watching me during training, like the _whole time_ , I can't tell if he's angry or what, and it's kinda... Kinda weird." Eren recalls how he has to suppress a blush when he catches Levi's stormy greys on him, and how his face always gets hot no matter how hard he tries to hide it. And worse, how his red face isn't the _only_ thing he has to hide if he spends too much time thinking about Levi staring at him with those fierce, smoldering eyes.

"Are you doing something wrong? Not doing the drills the way he instructed? Forget to clean the toilets again?"

"That's the thing. I'm trying really hard. I don't know what I could have done wrong, Armin. I don't know why he's singling me out like this." Still, being singled out by the Captain makes him feel special somehow.

"Does it bother you?" Armin has his suspicions. He waits to hear him out, but he's pretty sure he understands this situation far better than Eren does.

"Armin," Eren whispers, leaning in close to make absolutely certain that no one but his best friend hears what he's about to say. "Promise not to tell anyone."

"You don't even have to ask. You know that. Want to pinkie-swear?" Armin smiles to soothe Eren's nerves. He hears Eren take a deep breath and mumble something next to his cheek.

"I..." Eren can't hide the redness of his ears this time, either. "I kind of like it."

Armin smiles to himself before returning to his stew. He won't let on how he's noticed since the very beginning that Eren is _more_ than fond of Captain Levi. And he's happy, because he's also suspected that the Captain might actually feel the same way. Armin's sharp. Nearly as sharp as Commander Erwin. Not much gets past him. He might play ignorant, but that doesn't mean he never picked up on the way the Captain's always looked at Eren, especially now.

Eren is the first to spot Levi when he enters the mess hall. He notices the way Levi's sharp grey eyes scan the room for something. Notices how the Captain's eyes hone in on him and the way he keeps his sight trained on him when he strides in his direction, determination evident in his movements, sparing not a single glance at anything else around him.

"Armin," Eren barely moves his mouth when he whispers to Armin, subtly elbowing him under the table to get his attention. "Armin, look. He's coming over here. What do I do?"

"Act natural. Eat."

Eren's eyes dart down to the stew that has just become very interesting, mouth closing around an excessive spoonful of it that he chews so hurriedly it's as if it was his last meal on earth. He's concentrating so hard on his food that he chokes on his mouthful of potato when he hears Levi say his name, so unnaturally focused on acting natural that he hadn't even noticed his arrival.

"Eren."

Eren sheepishly looks up from his bowl, trying to stifle the sputtering coughs that are the natural consequence of forcing barely-chewed food down his throat, but they are _dangerously_ close to revealing themselves.

"Yes, Captain?" His voice squeaks and cracks and his eyes water from trying to speak while attempting to hide his coughing fit. He's terrified of embarrassing himself in front of Levi any more than he already has.

"Here."

Levi abruptly extends his hand out to Eren, something resting in his palm.

Eren looks with confusion between Levi's face and the object in Levi's hand. He sees how Levi looks away when they make eye contact. The Captain could stare down a charging bear and it would turn tail and run away in fright. What's going on? This can't be good.

"Take it." Levi punctuates his command by forcefully thrusting his hand into Eren's face.

"Th... Thank you." Eren plucks the ornately-wrapped bar of soap from his Captain's hand, staring down at it in further confusion.

Levi stands and stares for another awkward moment, the two young scouts at the table deathly still and silent while Levi appears to deliberate over something, all three of them apparently unsure of how to act in this dangerous situation.

Levi hums in approval and then turns, striding out of the mess hall as quickly and confidently as he strode in.

Eren is dumbfounded. He remains speechless for quite some time before swallowing loudly, finding that his slack mouth has suddenly become very dry. Good. That means he hasn't drooled on himself.

"See what I mean?"

Armin hides his excitement as he scrapes the last remnants of stew from his bowl, and Eren doesn't see the smile hidden behind his spoon when he brings it to his mouth. He knew it. He was right. This is great! He instantly begins constructing elaborate plans for Eren. Which kind of date would the Captain find the most romantic? What does the Captain like to eat? How can he get Eren to brush his hair? Which one of them is going to make the first move? Oh, oh! Who is going to be the first to kiss who?! He's nearly giddy with all of the thoughts of how happy Eren is going to finally be. He deserves it more than anyone.

Eren apparently hasn't come the same conclusion that Armin has. He's forgotten entirely about his now-cold and partially-congealed food and stares vacantly at the door to the mess hall that Levi had strolled through, seemingly unaffected after that awkward exchange. No, his conclusion is far, far different than Armin's.

_Oh my god, Levi thinks I smell. Oh my god. Oh my god. Shit! Oh my god!  
_

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

The awkward exchanges continue throughout the week, but instead of the strange comments, Levi now presents Eren with variety of items with nary a word to him on why.

Among the items Levi hand-delivers to Eren each day are a tin of boot polish, the type the officers use. A brand new broom, one with a smooth handle and all of its bristles intact, every single one still pristine, straight, and pointing in the same direction. A new uniform jacket in exactly the right size, and so on.

But before all of those was the soap.

Despite his embarrassment at the conclusion that Levi thinks he needs to bathe, he's grateful for it. When he took it back to his room that night, he sat on his bed and turned it over and over in his hand while his thoughts turned over and over in his head.

He looks more closely at it and sees that it's quite different from the standard issue tallow-and-potash military soap that everyone uses. It's oval in shape and ever-so-slightly tinted pink, with an intricate border of raised roses around its edge as if it was made from a fancy mold, a far cry from the uneven rectangular chunks of soap he's used to using in the communal showers.

Eren reclines against the headboard of his bed and imagines that this must be the kind of soap the wealthy people on the interior use. Who else would make something so frivolous, so pointlessly beautiful when it's just going to be wasted on scrubbing your armpits?

He bolts upright in his bed, opening his eyes wide, feeling like he'd forgotten something extremely important... Something about armpits? He briefly looks around to make sure he's absolutely, positively alone before raising his arm, leaning his face into his underarm to sniff himself. Okay, maybe he could use a shower, but come on... _It's not that bad. I mean, Connie smells worse than I do._

Eren looks back to the pink oval in his hand and continues to reflect upon it. So Levi thinks he smells. Hmph. It's not like _he_ never smells. Do I really smell that b... _Smell?_

_Oh. I wonder..._

Eren hadn't thought about what the soap might smell like. He's been so focused on his own questionably offensive scent that he's only been looking at the decorative bar in his hand. His usual soap doesn't smell all that good now that he's thinking about it. He brings the absurdly fancy-looking bar to his nose to inhale and he groans, eyes rolling back in his head. He never realized just how bad everything around him smells until he smelled this, and now he's cursing the knowledge that he's going to be noticing it all the time now. Maybe he should just carry this with him all the time. Just in case. 

Roses. It smells like roses, just like the ones his mother used to grow when he was little. The tiny garden alongside their home in Shiganshina, his mother lovingly tending to the thorny bushes, watering, trimming, and sometimes cutting a few stems to display in a glass vase near the kitchen window, where the sun would warm the blossoms and their perfume would softly sweeten the air.  His heart clenches at the memory, all of those pleasant things now long gone.

He continues to hold the rose-pink soap under his nose, greedily inhaling the beautiful fragrance with every lungful of air he draws until he becomes lightheaded. But then he stops, and his heart clenches for another reason entirely.

It doesn't just smell like his mother's rose bushes. He's smelled this somewhere else before, too, and recently. He remembers smelling it a few times interwoven with the rich scent of oiled leather, and smoke, and sharp pine sap... A fuzzy image takes shape in his mind: a blurred landscape passing him by, shaky greens and browns and whites, and jarring swaths of red, and of being up in the trees, of his body limp and aching, of something strong and safe that suspends him above the ground, and then another image, a different one, and another, and _another_ , all of them hazy and tinged with pain, but with one thing in common among them.

He gasps.

It smells like _Levi_.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

It's early in the morning and the scouts are in the castle's courtyard for their daily warmup before training. Eren sees Mikasa across the way and he's relieved that she hasn't noticed his arrival. He also spots Armin, who, thankfully, is nearby and he immediately makes his way over to him. As stealthily as he can so not to draw attention to himself, he maneuvers Armin as far away from Mikasa as possible. Eren always stands alongside Armin during training as the girls and guys usually tend to group together separately so that they can talk with each other without either group able to listen in on their conversations, so it's not anything that should draw suspicion... He hopes. Mikasa does have some sort of eerie sixth sense for this kind of thing.

They begin their routine the same way they always do: twenty laps around the courtyard followed by stretching, then fifty push-ups, and then everyone takes a few minutes to recover before beginning the transition into the last phase of their pre-drill warmup. Sit-ups. This is everyone's favorite part of the routine, not because they particularly enjoy doing dozens and dozens of sit-ups, but because they finally get their chance to talk while their instructor Captain Levi is out of earshot.

Eren is a little closer to Armin than usual. They complete their first few sets in silence, apart from grunting, of course, before Eren gathers the courage to finally seek his friend's advice. 

"Armin, help," Eren whispers, slightly out of breath, to the blond boy beside him. Armin doesn't look over, and given the nature of the conversation they're most likely about to have from the sound of desperation in Eren's voice, he sure as hell can't let the Captain catch them slacking off. He gives Eren a grunt to let him know he's listening. He's pretty sure he already knows what's on Eren's mind.

Levi. Obviously. _Really_ not that hard to figure out. Eren's timing is questionable, though. Did it seriously have to be during training?

Eren is at his wits' end. He's been agonizing over Levi more than he already does ever since the onset of the Captain's strange behavior toward him. All of the extra attention, which is not at all unwelcome, has unfortunately driven him to the point where he can't concentrate on anything else, unable to shake the constant thoughts of Levi that eat away at his brain. What does it all _mean_? Why is this happening all of a sudden? His feelings for the Captain have become unbearable because of it and he's more afraid than ever that he'll do something stupid. Self-control is a concept that he's never fully been able to grasp and he knows better than to trust himself not to lose himself to his emotions, something that he's always done, and something that he knows the Captain frowns upon. He also knows that he has a long-standing reputation of being impulsive to a fault and fears doing anything that might disappoint Levi even the tiniest bit.

But Armin always knows what to do. He's gotten them out of many a dangerous situation and saved his life more than he's proud to admit. And this? This is the most dangerous situation of all.

"Armin, I don't know what to do. I think I'm going crazy. I just can't..." He pauses, bravery failing him, still hesitant to fully reveal his shameful secret even to his closest friend.

"Stop thinking about the Captain?" There's no judgment in Armin's voice. This calms him, but that doesn't mean he's not embarrassed.

"Yeah," He releases a long, stressed breath, a sound of defeat, of having no choice but to give in and finally admit it. "I can't stop. I don't know how long I can survive, I think it's going to kill me. I'm going to _die_ , Armin. I swear I'm going to die."

"You're not going to die. Having a crush isn't going to kill you."

"I don't think I can call this a crush anymore. This is... this is something _way_ worse."

"Hm? Worse how?"

"I..." He lowers his voice even more, now just barely above a whisper. He can't let anyone hear this, especially not the Captain. The thought still terrifies him. "I think I'm in love."

"You _think_? Eren... I don't know how to tell you this, but.. I know. I was wondering when you were going to tell me."

"Fuck! Am I that obvious?" He groans, not from effort, but from the shame of knowing that he hasn't been hiding it at as well as he's tried so incredibly hard to do.

"Only to me. Don't worry."

" _Fuuuuuuuck_ , Armin, what do I _do??_ "

"You tell him how you feel. It's the only way." Armin doesn't even hesitate. This has been a long time coming. He can't stand seeing Eren pining away over Levi like this, especially because his feelings might not be as unrequited as he seems to believe they are.

"What?! Are you _insane?!_ I can't do that!"

"Eren, shh!"

"Oh my god, Armin he's looking at me again. Shit! Shit, he's coming over here!"

Eren _knew_ he felt like someone was watching him, and when he looks up he sees the Captain watching him like a hawk, stormy grey eyes glinting in the morning sun, revealing the deep-blue color that he knows they actually are from the countless hours he's spent staring into them.

He resolutely looks away, forcing himself to focus on the sky, which he then regrets because he's looked directly into the sun, temporarily blinding himself as persistent spots dance in front of his eyes. He squeezes his eyes shut to block out the searing brightness, but he can still hear the boots clacking on the stone, louder and louder until the sound stops and he knows he _definitely_ can't open them now.

"Very good. Keep it up." 

Eren has the wind knocked out of him. Levi could have been addressing any one of the other soldiers lined up on the ground beside him, but he can't shake the feeling that the praise was meant only for him, what with the Captain's recent behavior and all. He doesn't open his eyes again until the sound of the Captain's boots fade off into the distance and he's certain he's no longer being scrutinized by those gorgeous, mesmerizing, heart-stopping eyes.

"See what I mean? I can't take this! Arrrrrgh, what the hell is going on?! Why is he doing this to me?!"

"He likes you."

"Don't fuck with me, Armin!"

"I'm serious. The Captain likes you. Think about it." Armin is out of breath and decides to slack a little on his form so he can speak more clearly. "Okay, look. Do you ever see him talking to anyone like that? Have you ever even heard him _praise_ anyone?"

 _Not bad._ The Captain's smooth voice rings in his ears. _Not bad._

_Very good._

"And he's been bringing you gifts. Since when does the Captain give people gifts? I know you think they're weird and all, but seriously. Think about it. They're things he likes. I mean, yeah, they're not the greatest, really, who gives someone a broom as a gift? And you _know_ he's not very good with people, but... If you ask me, and may I remind you that you _did_ , it shows that he's thinking about you."

Eren whines. Armin chuckles.

"Alright, well how about the other day when you tripped over your own feet during training and fell flat on your face?"  The _'because you were too busy making googly eyes at the Captain'_ remains unspoken, but Eren knows he's thinking it.

"Did you really have to bring that up?"

"Yes. What happened next, hm? Didn't Jean laugh at you?"

"Remind me to kick his ass for that."

"Uh, yeah. Probably shouldn't do that."

"I probably should."

"Okay, that's not the point. You can't have forgotten what happened after that."

He hasn't forgotten.

"Let me refresh your memory. After you so gracefully swan-dived into the dirt, _someone_ grabbed your hand and pulled you up off the ground."

He can still feel the bolt of lightning that crackled through him when that strong hand squeezed his own. The butterflies are back. _Die already, you stupid flying bastards!_

"And then _someone_ scolded Jean in front of the entire squad and gave him a hundred extra laps. Hm? Remember that? I know you do. Don't tell me you haven't been thinking about that ever since it happened. I can tell when you're lying."

"Don't tease me, Armin. This isn't funny! I'm dying!"

"Eren, I love you, but you're dumb as hell. Why can't you get this through that thick skull of yours? He. Likes. You."

Eren flops back onto the cobblestone and the fact that he's knocked his head against it pretty hard doesn't even faze him. His head _already_ hurts and he's _already_ dizzy. He covers his face with his hands, rubbing it as if he could wipe away the frustration of it all, groaning as if he was actually feeling the pain from the lump forming on the back of his skull (which, according to Armin, is thick, apparently), but it ends with an exaggerated series of sobs.

"I mean it, Armin, don't think I won't kill you, because I will." Armin chuckles again and Eren kinda sorta really wants to smack him upside the head for that. But he won't because he knows he's in deep shit now and he wouldn't put it past Armin to take matters into his own hands to prove himself right.

"Still don't believe me? Should I go on? "

"Fuck, Armin, what do I _doooooo?????_ " Armin can't stop himself. Eren's still sobbing and whining so dramatically that he just has to laugh at him.

"Don't worry. I know just what to do. Trust me."

" _Fuuuuuuuuuck...._ "

He sincerely hopes that Armin isn't fucking around with him. He wouldn't...

_Would he?_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I ever write something without putting stupid references in it?


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

"Do you enjoy eating this shit?"

Eren nearly falls off the bench with how startled he is when Levi, who he hadn't even seen enter the mess hall, speaks up from behind him. He'd been too busy daydreaming to pay attention to his surroundings.

Daydreaming about the very man who has just scared him shitless by materializing behind him as if he _knew_ that he was having inappropriate thoughts about him. His superior officer. The Captain of the Survey Corps.

The Captain, who has just returned from another successful mission, which was only a success because of him, naturally. And now he's riding into town victorious on the back of his imposing black stallion with Eren right behind him in the saddle. All eyes are on them as they trot toward Survey Corps headquarters to celebrate a job well done. Levi meets all those eyes with a glare of his own, one that carries a silent but in _no way_ subtle threat every time he sees them land on Eren.

Eren's arms are wrapped tightly around his Captain's waist and Levi grabs one of Eren's hands possessively, making sure that all those peasants ogling Eren are watching while he does it. He brings their entwined fingers forward to hold the reins together on his lap, openly displaying in front of the entire city that Eren is _his_. This makes Eren smile, a dreamy, satisfied look on his face that he hides against his Captain's strong back, and Eren feels so proud and so honored to be the Captain's one and only.

His cheek rests upon Levi's green-cloaked shoulder and he sees all those jealous faces pass by before his eyelids drift closed. He feels the rhythmic bounce of the horse's gait, feels the comfortable warmth of Levi's body against his, and he sighs in contentment as he inhales the scent of Levi's hair. The dried sweat leftover from a harrowing battle, the smell of oiled steel and leather, and, underneath the fragrance of all the power and fury and ferocity of Humanity's Strongest is the barest trace of rose-scented soap. The one that he still positively _spoils_ Eren with every time they bathe together in Levi's luxurious, claw-foot bathtub like they are surely going to do again tonight.

Before he realizes it they've arrived at the castle and Levi is on the ground beside his horse, his hand extended out to Eren, offering to help him dismount the massive war-beast. " _Eren,_ " he calls gently, his voice more sweet and beautiful than a songbird, " _Eren_." He looks down at Levi's handsome face and begins to stretch his arm out to take his Captain's small hand in his own. Levi is still calling his name, though his stomach now drops because Levi sounds _..._

He jumps in his seat.

"Huh?" He blinks several times, dazed. He tries to collect himself, but his heart is still pounding from the sudden fright.

"This _shit_. Do you like it."

It takes him a second to respond, becoming painfully aware that his current surroundings are, sadly, nothing like the world he was dreaming of moments ago.

"Um," he swallows, having a great amount of difficulty forming words. "I can't complain about having food to eat, sir, but..." Eren hesitates. He really shouldn't complain. Is this a test? He should be (and is) grateful to always have something to eat when others inside the walls are starving, even if it _is_ disgusting.

Levi listens intently.

"... I'm not... particularly... fond of it." Eren, flinching at the sound of his own voice, awaits a scolding.

Levi is looking Eren in the eyes and Eren's previously racing heart stops. His breath gets an idea from his heart and decides it should take a little break as well when Eren sees how his Captain is looking at him.

Levi's eyes seem soft and they're usually as cold, hard, sharp, and deadly as the steel blades he wields, the ones with which he can kill so quickly, so precisely, and so effortlessly that his targets don't even have a chance to run. And his face... He doesn't really look as pissed off as usual. _Why is he still looking at me. What do I do? What do I say? Oh god, stop looking at me. I'm going to die, oh my god, I think I'm actually dying! Armin, where the hell are you?! HELP ME!!!  
_

In that instant Eren becomes acutely aware of how long he's been holding his breath and he begins to cough and gasp for air, which is only marginally less embarrassing than passing out from lack of oxygen in front of Levi and everyone else in the mess hall watching this showdown between him and the Captain.

"Didn't think so."

Levi looks at him a little longer and then turns around and walks away.

What the _hell_ was that? 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

Erwin looks up from his paperwork at the sound of Levi barging into his office without knocking.

 

"Oi. Eyebrows. Where can I get some food that isn't shit?"

 

He can't stop it this time. Levi rolls his eyes and crosses his arms impatiently just like Erwin knew he would when he notices the big, stupid grin on the Commander's face.

 

"Hello, Levi," he greets cordially while he gathers the papers in his hands, tapping the edge of the stack on the top of his desk to straighten them. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" Erwin doesn't even bother to hide his amusement now. This is _too_ good.

 

"Tch. Are you going deaf in your old age? You heard me."

 

"Ah, yes, I do recall you mentioning something about food. Well, this is certainly new. You've never seemed to care about the quality of food here before." He's goading him, he knows. He also knows that Levi will crack if he keeps it up.

 

Levi sighs dramatically, rubbing his palm against his forehead in annoyance. He's not the one who cares about the food. Really, he couldn't care less. But he _does_ care about something, and that something, or rather some _one_ , doesn't like it, so clearly he must remedy this. It's not just because Eren told him he doesn't like the cafeteria food, though. He once heard someone say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and Levi is desperate to be there.

 

"I need something nice. A lot of it. And don't you tell me you can't weasel some out of Dawk or one of those rich MP pigs."

 

He's right. Erwin can convince pretty much anyone to agree to something. That's one of the reasons why he's still Commander, after all. A good strategist must know how to swing the odds in his favor. All part of the job. Which, not to sound too proud, he knows he's quite good at.

 

"Planning a romantic dinner for two?"

 

Levi grits his teeth and draws his brows close together, looking down at the floor with his hand still plastered against his forehead. Levi knows there's little to no chance of getting out of this one. Even if he could throw Erwin off his scent temporarily, it would only be a matter of time before Erwin corners him and flushes out every hidden truth. Might as well spare himself the effort and just surrender now.

 

"Goddammit, Erwin, _yes_. Satisfied?" He stomps over to Erwin's desk, unceremoniously flopping into his usual seat in one of Erwin's leather armchairs. He still doesn't look up at him, his sharp eyes narrowed and staring off to the side, pointedly avoiding eye contact with Erwin.

 

"So. You need help planning a romantic dinner. This shouldn't be hard, but I need details. Report."

 

"Why should I? It's hardly any of your business. Just cut the bullshit and tell me where I can get the damn food."

 

Erwin chuckles. Waits. After how long they've been working together, Erwin knows Levi all too well.

 

"It would help to know what I'm up against if I'm expected to devise a new strategy. You must know your enemy, after all. And in this case, we need to know what the enemy likes to eat. So...?"

 

"So _what_ , Commander Sticks-His-Nose-In-Shit-That's-None-Of-His-Business?"

 

"Who is it?"

 

Levi sighs in defeat. No use in hiding it. Erwin would figure it out on his own, anyway.

 

"It's fucking... Ugh. It's Eren fucking Yeager."  Levi doesn't sound at all pleased to reveal his secret out loud. He brings his hand to his forehead again, grinding his palm into his eye socket, his fingers sliding up and back through his hair before he finally looks at Erwin. His eyes are not quite so sharp now, and his face not as stony. He actually looks... distressed.

 

Another shocking turn of events. Erwin knows Levi far better than anyone else does, but now he must admit that he doesn't know Levi as well as he thought he did. The topic of romance has never once come up in their time together and he always had his suspicions that Levi perhaps had someone in his life but chose to keep that information as private as everything else about him. Apparently he was wrong about that because, for the first time since he's been serving under his command, Levi is openly admitting that there _is_ someone, and that he is very serious about that someone, so much so that he is actually _admitting defeat_ and _asking for help_ in wooing that mysterious someone. Humanity's Strongest is showing weakness. And now that this someone has been identified, he's even more shocked than he was before. Never in a million years would he have expected that the object of Levi's affections would be a _man_.

 

And Eren Yeager, no less. His subordinate. A _titan_. He resolves to take this just as seriously as Levi is because it _is_ serious. Erwin composes himself, ready to assume his role of Commander in the battle that's occurring right here in his office.

 

"Ah. I see. That does help. I still need more information, though. Fill me in on the situation."

 

Levi has been doing everything Erwin said he should. He's been _courting_ Eren. Compliments, gifts, attention, all of it. All of it except the date. He knows it's unlike him to hesitate. It goes against his very nature to agonize over a decision, but here he is, agonizing. He needs to make the right move and he doesn't know what that is. Eren hasn't been reacting the way he thought he would to his attempts at wooing him. Erwin's strategy should have been foolproof. So what's the problem? Was he mistaken about all the little things that made him believe he had a chance? All the furtive glances, all of the obvious efforts to please him, all of the things he hears Eren shouting in his praise or defense when he thinks he's not around? Is Eren rejecting him?

 

He needs to make his next move as impressive as humanly possible and maybe that will be what finally convinces Eren to love him.

 

"I've been following your shitty plan to the letter and it's not working."

 

"What makes you say that?"

 

"I've been doing all the romantic shit you told me to do and he hasn't even said anything about it. He just looks like he's going to puke or piss his pants or something."

 

"Walk me through it. What have you done so far?"

 

Levi sighs.

 

"I've been spending more time with him. Complimenting him. Bringing him gifts. Everything." Erwin is rather alarmed at how distressed Levi sounds and even _looks_ as he tells him this.

 

"What have you said to him? What kinds of gifts have you given him?"

 

"I've complimented his cleaning, told him he had good form, told him that he smelled okay. I meant it, too." Truly. He'd never say those things to anyone else. They're all dog shit compared to Eren. Only Eren is worthy of his praise. Only Eren. No one else. Just him.

 

"Oh," Erwin tries to remain professional even though he wants to groan at Levi's misguided attempts at complimenting Eren. "I see. And the gifts?"

 

"Nice things, he should have loved them. They were expensive. Somehow he's been managing to clean better than I've seen anyone do with those shitty, ancient brooms we have. You know how hard it is to sweep with a broom with half the bristles missing? So I thought I'd make things easier for him and bring him a new one. It was beautiful, Erwin. Varnished oak broomstick and everything. Got one for myself, too. I even gave him some of the soap from my private stash. That kind I get when we go to Mitras. You know how much that shit costs?"

 

"Levi," Erwin sighs as subtly as he can given the impact of the information he's just received. He rubs his brow. "I don't think those are quite the things a suitor should say or give to their... potential gentleman friend."

 

"Well what the fuck? You didn't tell me what to get him."

 

"While your gifts were thoughtful _and_ practical, we're going for romance here, and cleaning is not what I'd call romantic. I was suggesting something more along the lines of... luxuries. Things soldiers usually can't afford. Something like... An interesting book about something he likes. A fine pair of gloves. Or flowers. Did you know that each flower has a special meaning? It's a traditional way of conveying your feelings toward someone. Red carnations. Pink camellias. Any type of violets or tulips. Rosebuds, primrose if you're that far gone already. Jonquil especially. Definitely go with jonquil."

 

"How the hell do you know so much about flowers?"

 

"You said it before. I've been in love." Levi can hear the tinge of sadness in Erwin's voice. This has just gotten even more uncomfortable.

 

"Right. Flowers."

 

"Yes. I'd suggest you start off next week by bringing him something a little less utilitarian and see how he responds."

 

"I don't want to wait another week. I don't even think I _can_."

 

"That bad, hm? Now I understand why you're in a hurry to have that romantic dinner. I can certainly help with that. So, what does Eren like to eat? I'm sure whatever it is I can get it for you, just tell me what it is."

 

"I don't know. He doesn't like the slop they feed him. So something that isn't that."  He _knew_ he forgot to ask something. He was going down there to ask him something until he got distracted. He was supposed to ask him about his favorite food. That was the whole point. It's not his fault he forgot. How could he be expected to remember anything when those big, green eyes were looking at him like that?

 

"You don't know his favorite food?" 

 

Levi gives a low growl at the question. He doesn't have time for this shit. He needs to escalate things _now_ and he's just become gravely aware of how much he needs to rely on Erwin's guidance if he hopes to not fuck things up like he has apparently been doing this whole time.

 

"Erwin, I need to impress him. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

 

"Hm. I don't know that much about Eren, but I do know soldiers. And I know that soldiers almost never get to eat any type of meat, and especially not other expensive things like sweets. If those don't impress him, I don't know what will."

 

Levi is sitting in awkward silence with his arms crossed and he's staring at the floor with something akin to pain written across his usually flat features. It tugs at Erwin's heart to see Levi like this. He might be Levi's boss, but he's also his friend. He won't make Levi do this all on his own.

 

"Levi. This is obviously very important to you. That means it's important to me. Let me handle this. You focus on Eren and I'll take care of the dinner arrangements. That's an order."

 

Levi looks up in shock. Did Erwin just give him an order? Is he serious right now?

 

"Trust me."

 

He does.

 

He trusts Erwin, and, for what may be the first time he can remember, he thanks him before he disappears through the doorway and into the dark halls of the castle.

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

"Ah, Armin! Just the man I was looking for."

 

"Good afternoon, sir."

 

"Yes, a good afternoon indeed. Come with me, please."

 

When the Commander asks to see someone it's never a good sign. However, Armin is not worried in the least. He and the Commander are of like mind, so much so that people often comment that it's scary just how similar they truly are. Armin takes it as a compliment, of course; he can't think of a better person to be compared to than his absolute genius of a Commander. It's for this reason that he does not worry about the Commander's summons. He can sense it. He senses the subtle warmth in his typically serious demeanor, the barely perceivable spring in his step, the pleasant tone of his voice. No, there's not going to be any bad news this time.

 

This is going to be a _very_ interesting meeting.

 

\----

 

Erwin ushers Armin into his office ahead of him and looks up and down the hallway before silently closing the door behind him. He can't have anyone interfering with this meeting, or worse, eavesdropping.

 

"What is it that you wanted to see me about, sir?" Armin settles comfortably into his seat. He gets the idea to scoot his chair closer to the desk and is sure to avoid making any sound when it scrapes across the floor.

 

"No need for formalities, Armin. This is not a military matter and this conversation is strictly off the record. But, I'm sure you already know that." Erwin also seems unusually relaxed as he strides across the room to retrieve a tray which he places beside him on his desk. "Tea?"

 

"Thank you." Armin accepts the steaming cup Erwin hands him, inhaling the rare, perfumed aroma of quality tea leaves that aren't even the slightest bit stale. He takes a sip from the delicate, gold-rimmed teacup before he sets it down on the desk and settles back into his chair.

 

"Let's get down to business, then. I take it you're aware of the... _situation_ with Levi and Eren?"

 

Armin smiles.

 

"I am."

 

"Good. Then you are also aware that this... _situation_ is at an impasse, correct?"

 

"God, is it ever."

 

This time it's Erwin who is smiling.

 

"This has been going on for far too long. Something needs to be done and it's come to the point where I need to take matters into my own hands. However, before I can do anything, I need to know one thing."

 

"Eren's feelings toward the Captain are mutual, yes."

 

"You're a sharp one, Armin," Erwin chuckles. "Very good. I already have a plan to break the stalemate but I need your help to do it. Can I count on your cooperation?"

 

"You don't even have to ask. Tell me what you need me to do."

 

"I need you to keep Eren distracted and away from the castle until seven o'clock this evening. How you do that is up to you, but do not say a word to Eren about why. It's important that he remain calm and not suspect a thing. When you return, you are to bring him to the mess hall no later than seven thirty. Can you do that?"

 

"Easy. Got it covered. Though, if I may be so bold, there is something I need to ask of you as well."

 

"I have already arranged for Mikasa to be sent on patrol."

 

"Really, I should have known." Erwin and Armin exchange a warm, knowing smile, both clever blonds finding this conversation equally amusing.

 

"Well, that's all I needed to discuss. You're free to go."

 

"Whatever it is you're planning, I hope it works. I'm pretty sick of all the sighing."

 

Erwin gives a hearty laugh. He agrees.

 

"I hope so too."

 

\----

 

"Hey, Eren, can you help me with something?"

 

Eren is sitting on his bed with a book in his lap. One of Armin's. One that he's nearly worn down to nothing with how many times he's turned the same pages over and over and over again nearly every night for the past five years. He's slow to look away from the picture on the page, and it's with a sigh of reluctance that he finally closes it, the soft thud of the heavy cover joining the creak of rusted mattress springs when he turns to face his friend.

 

"What's up?"

 

"I need you to come to town with me. I have to pick out a gift for Connie's birthday and I have no idea what to get." It's not a lie. Only a tiny little omission of certain _minor_ details.

 

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, I'll go."

 

"Thanks. You seriously have no clue how hard I've been thinking about this." That's not a lie, either. He just hasn't specified what _this_ is.

 

Eren carefully wraps the book back into the wide scrap of soft leather he uses to protect it from damage before lifting up the edge of his mattress to return it to its hiding place. Once he's done, the two scouts head out to the stables to tack up their horses for the ride into town.

 

\----

 

"Ugh. I still don't know what to get. None of this stuff seems like something Connie would like."

 

Eren jolts at the sound of Armin talking to him from somewhere across the way. He'd been standing in front of a shelf oblivious to his surroundings, the entirety of his attention directed toward the item being displayed there. Just how long _has_ he been standing there? He reacts instantly, whipping around to face the direction of Armin's voice in an attempt to conceal his activities. Armin would _know_. He just would. Eren silently prays that Armin won't notice what it is on the shelf that he's been staring at. It could have been something for Connie, why else would he be here?

 

He was smiling to himself, most likely with a stupid look on his face, envisioning a scenario that involves Levi being so moved by the gift he has just given him that he immediately scoops him up into his arms, stealing his breath with passionate kisses while he carries him across the room in a hurry, roughly throwing him down onto the...

 

Armin's voice sounds a lot closer now. Shit, shit, he's right in front of me. What did he just say? Snap out of it! Oh god, did he actually notice? Goddesses have mercy, tell me he didn't notice.

 

Armin noticed. He doesn't give any indication to Eren that he did, but, yes, he definitely saw. Had to keep himself from laughing out loud at how scared Eren looked when he realized he was talking to him. This is great. He can work with this. That wasn't the only thing he noticed, and he really _should_ say something about the other thing.

 

"Uh, not that I was looking, but you've got a little, uh... _problem_ there, you might want to..."

 

Armin gives a discreet nod and glance downward, not lingering before looking back up again. Eren mirrors his actions, and if he wasn't red in the face before, he sure as hell is now.

 

"I'm going next door. Hopefully they'll have something."

 

"Oh, um, yeah, I'll be right there. Uh... thanks. Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you."  He quickly lifts the strap over his shoulder, turning the bag around so that it now hangs at the front of his body instead of behind it.

 

"You better not run off on me. I swear, if you're not there in ten minutes, I will find you and I will kill you. I'm about ready to bash my head into a wall if I don't find something soon."

 

"I promise I won't run off. I'm just gonna... stand here for a bit." Eren shifts his weight uncomfortably.

 

Armin laughs at Eren's sheepishness, and not just because of his comedic reaction to his _problem_. No, he's also laughing that Eren took the bait just like he knew he would. Success.

 

Eren stays exactly where he is until he hears the jingle of the bells over the shop's door that indicate that Armin is no longer there to see what he's about to do.

 

He looks around just to be absolutely certain that both problems are gone and then he ever-so-delicately retrieves the tea set from the shelf. He's nearly sweating with the effort it takes to bring it up to the counter to pay for it. He moves at a snail's pace, so completely focused on not breaking it, of not even jostling it the slightest amount from the movement of his feet as he walks. He's so nervous about breaking it that he actually _is_ sweating by the time he caferully sets it down in front of the shopkeeper to retrieve the coins from the pouch on his belt.

 

His military salary is barely a pittance for all the shit he does to earn it, but Eren can think of _nothing_ he'd rather spend his entire month's wages on than this. Than Levi. He gathers his coins in his hand and piles them onto the counter where the shopkeeper is wrapping the beautiful porcelain tea set in tissue paper, four layers of it per Eren's request.

 

"Here you are, son. Thank you for your patronage. Please come again."

 

Eren shakes his head to clear away the haze of yet another daydream that had distracted him from his surroundings while the shopkeeper was ringing up and wrapping his expensive, no, _priceless_ gift to Levi. He really needs to stop doing that. Shit, am I blushing again? Oh no, am I...

 

" _Sir?_ Your package?"

 

"Huh? Oh, ah, sorry! Thank you very much." Eren takes the neatly wrapped parcel from the elderly woman behind the counter in the small shop and tucks it into his bag, shifting it and rearranging the contents of the bag so the package sits just so and there's no bulge of evidence to suggest that there's anything inside it that wasn't there before.

 

Eren leaves the shop, the tinkling of brass bells inside bidding him farewell and the setting sun greeting him with evening warmth outside. Eren grasps at the last threads of his lingering daydream, intent on holding on to those pleasant images for as long as he can. It's perfect, it's everything he's dreamed of. And it's going to happen... He's going to make it happen. He's going to make Levi happy, he's going to make Levi so incredibly happy that he'll have to confess his undying love for him. It will happen exactly like that.

 

That is, if he's brave enough to even give Levi the gift in the first place.

 

\----

 

Eren and Armin are silent during the ride back to headquarters. It's a comfortable silence, though. The sunset is beautiful. Eren seems happy. So does Armin.

 

Eren doesn't even notice that Armin isn't carrying a gift for Connie back with them.

 

Armin pretends not to notice that Eren _is_ , but it's not Connie who is going to be receiving it.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hey, would you look at that. More pop culture references.


	12. Chapter 12

 

 

"Ugh, Armin, I'm starving. All of that shopping was _brutal._ I'm so hungry that even the mystery gruel sounds good right now." Eren's stomach testifies on his behalf, growling on cue, and the way that Armin nervously chuckles in response goes right over Eren's head. They're approaching the final hour and if he can just keep Eren distracted and clueless until then...

 

"Uh... why don't you shower first. Sasha might mistake you for a wild boar if you go down there smelling like that." Sorry, Eren. You'll thank me later.

 

"Are you serious?" Eren raises his arm, sniffing frantically. "I don't smell anything!"

 

"Trust me."

 

"But _Armiiiiiiiin_ , I'm hungry! Can't we eat first?"

 

Armin sighs and drags Eren by the arm in the direction of the communal showers.

 

"This is for your own good. Now come _on_. MOVE!"

 

\----

 

"What the hell is all of this."

 

Levi stalks over to where Erwin is busy setting the table for that romantic dinner Levi has been so desperate to have. He stops beside the Commander, crossing his arms and pinning him with a threatening glare that has absolutely no effect.

 

"This is where you'll be having dinner. Sasha's in the kitchen right now. I've pulled out the big guns for this, you should be grateful that I care enough about you to go to such great lengths."

 

"Tch. It'll be a miracle if any of the food makes it to the table at all if you've left Sasha alone with it."

 

"Come, Levi, you know she's the best cook in the entire three walls. I thought you wanted to impress... our guest."  Erwin is intentionally vague. There are still soldiers milling around the mess hall, idling over the last of their evening meal and keeping a wary eye on the two officers in the room.

 

"Is that wine?"

 

"Yes, and a very fine one, too. I owe Dot a favor now, so I better not hear you complaining."

 

"So your plan is for me to get him all liquored up? Great. Fantastic."

 

"No. Wine has a way of loosening the tongue, and that should work very well in your favor tonight. Now I suggest you go shower and make yourself presentable and let me finish this without your commentary. Put on some of the cologne that's on my dresser."

 

"Oh _fuck_ no. The last thing I need is to try seducing the brat smelling like _you_."

 

Erwin sighs in frustration. He feels a headache coming on. He lowers his voice so only Levi can hear it. So much for being discreet.

 

"Levi, it's the first date. There will be no _seducing_. Understand? Now kindly remove yourself before I carry you out of here like a child."

 

"Then why the fuck are you giving him wine? You're wanting me to get him sloshed for some other reason?"

 

"You heard me the first time. Neither of you will be getting 'sloshed' on one bottle. Now _leave._ That's an order."

 

"Tch. Yes, _Commander_. I'll go get dolled up and I'll be sure to wear my prettiest dress."

 

"OUT!"

 

"Yes, SIR!"

 

Levi mocks him with a salute but obeys, storming out of the room with such an aura that soldiers at a nearby table shiver in unison. Erwin knows well enough that Levi's attitude is just his way of expressing anxiety, and no matter how much he stomps his feet and talks back, Levi would never disobey a direct order. Perhaps he should use that more to his advantage.

 

\----

 

"Now can we go eat?"

 

Eren is rubbing his hair with a towel, and for some reason that Armin cannot decipher, he has decided to put on the same pants he wore into town.

 

"Eren, take those off!"

 

"Wow, Armin, I had no idea you felt that way. I'm flattered, but I'm already taken. Sorry to disappoint."

 

"What was the point of taking a shower if you're just going to put back on clothes that reek of manure and smoked trout?"

 

Eren growls but Armin laughs as he digs through Eren's dresser looking for a something specific that he knows has to be in there _somewhere_.

 

"Aha! Here," Armin exclaims, tossing the black and white stack of folded cloth to Eren. "Put this on. Nice and clean. Or do you want the Captain to be able to enjoy your _fragrant_ _aroma_ as much as you seem to?" He knows Eren wouldn't dare argue with that. All he has to do is mention the Captain and he can get Eren to do practically anything he says. _Eren, I hear the Captain is impressed by headstands. I overheard the Captain telling Erwin he finds polka-dot bowties incredibly sexy. Ooh, that's evil. If I can make Eren jealous, there's no telling what I'll be able to convince him to do._

 

"Ugh. Fiiiiiine. But don't you think this is a little fancy to be wearing just to go eat a steaming bowl of pig slop?"

 

Armin turns his back while Eren strips off his uniform pants and changes into a pair of black dress trousers and the only white button-down shirt he owns.

 

"There. Now, don't you look handsome?" Armin can't resist reaching up to finger-comb Eren's damp hair a little. Sadly, it was a futile effort. At least he tried.

 

"I already told you, I'm _taken_."

 

" _Not yet you aren't_ ," Armin mumbles.

 

"What was that? I didn't quite hear you."

 

"Maybe you should have cleaned out your ears, too. In fact, why don't you go do that."

 

"Fuck off, Armin."

 

\----

 

Levi stands in front of the mirror in his quarters, fingers nervously straightening the white cravat around his neck. He turns around to check out his own ass in the mirror and he has to admit these trousers do incredible things for his backside. He's noticed Eren staring at it before, but just wait until he sees the way these trousers hug him so perfectly that there's hardly anything left to the imagination. He'll probably start drooling like an idiot. Right. First date. No seducing. But it's not his fault if _Eren_ comes on to _him_ , right? What kind of boyfriend would he be to deny him?

 

_Boyfriend???_

 

He stares at his reflection. He's perfectly groomed, but, then again, when isn't he? He's freshly shaven even though he already shaved this morning. Meticulously clean, nails filed, wearing his best tailored suit and shoes that have been shined until he can see himself in them. He runs his fingers through his hair, which is softer and shinier than usual from conditioning tonic he used _just because he felt like it, no other reason_ , and which he also decided could use a trim because it had just grown _so much_ in the week since he last cut it. He pushes his hair back from his face, contemplates himself in the mirror, then ruffles it back into its usual style. _That's a little much. I look like an asshole._

 

He straightens his cravat for the fiftieth time, giving himself a final once-over before taking a deep breath and leaving his quarters to go down to the mess hall and meet his fate.

 

And he is _not_ wearing that goddamn cologne.

 

\----

 

It's seven o'clock on the nose when Levi arrives at the entrance to the mess hall which, infuriatingly, is still occupied by a bunch of brats in uniform shoveling food into their mouths like animals. He grits his teeth. _Why the fuck are they still here?_

 

His burgeoning rage recedes when turns his head and sees Eren approaching him, laughing with Armin, who has just whispered something to him, and who is standing _far_ too close to Eren. The rage returns and his new friend anxiety has decided to tag along this time.

 

"Eren."

 

Eren goes as still as a spooked rabbit when the Captain addresses him, blood turning to ice in his veins, the chill freezing him in place.

 

"Sir?"

 

"Come with me." He strides into the mess hall with determination in his quickened step. He did not wait to see if Eren was following behind him. Nevertheless, Eren is at his heel in an instant.

 

"All of you. _Out_."

 

The Captain's calm but deadly command terrifies the last stragglers in the mess hall. They are so fearful for their lives that they abandon their mostly-full trays on the table, the metallic clank of spoons echoing throughout the room as they immediately drop from their hands. The soldiers leap from their seats and dash past Levi, who is standing in the doorway, arms crossed, death glare daring anyone to try to argue with him about their interrupted meal. Levi doesn't scold them for leaving a mess. There is something far too serious at hand to bother concerning himself with minor annoyances.

 

Eren is just as terrified as the soldiers evacuating the mess hall as if it were on fire. Perhaps even more. He's trembling in fear. The Captain is wrenched from his dire mood and back to reality when he hears Eren gulp. _What's the little shit so nervous for?_

 

"Eren."

 

Eren looks over to Armin and he can't understand how the blond could _possibly_ be so calm right now. Armin gives him a sympathetic look that does absolutely nothing to soothe his nerves before he nudges Eren in the Captain's direction, silently encouraging him to move. Eren stumbles, takes a few shaky steps, and it's all he can do just to stand beside the Captain, too afraid for words.

 

Eren and Levi turn their heads to look at each other at exactly the same time.

 

Levi smiles at him.

 

Eren thinks he's going to faint.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

Eren walks on wobbly rubber legs into the dark dining hall. Someone has extinguished nearly all of the lamps and he hadn't even had the presence of mind to notice that until just now. Levi walks behind him and he can feel the slightest brush of his breath on the back of his neck. He feels like he's walking into his own grave.

 

But then Levi stops. Eren turns to question, not sparing a single glance at what's in front of him. Levi holds his arm out. Eren turns back around to see what the Captain is trying to show him and only then does what he's looking at finally register in his brain.

 

It's a table. Not one of the long benches he normally sits at. No, this one is small and spread with a pristine white linen tablecloth. For some reason there are three short pillar candles at the center of it, and the motion of the flame draws his eye down to something shiny. Polished silver. And not only that, but gleaming white plates, fancy porcelain ones, and they're full of food.

 

Everything is moving too fast and too slow at the same time and before he knows what's happening, Levi is pulling out the chair beside him, motioning again to him, instructing him to sit. He looks back up with questioning eyes only to be met with the sight of his Captain in the flickering orange light of the candles and he still can't say a word. He looks so beautiful. His pale skin looks soft and glowing. His grey eyes seem to sparkle, the reflection of dancing flames warming them, the sight of that warming _him_ from the inside out. And maybe it is just the light playing tricks on him, but Levi seems warm too. He's... smiling. Again.

 

_Armin, help!_

 

Eren's heart flutters in time with the butterflies in his stomach that still haven't died despite his constant efforts to digest them. His jaw drops. The Captain doesn't stop smiling. He sits before he can pass out.

 

Eren is looking forward when Levi pushes his chair in so he doesn't see Commander Erwin looking around the doorway to the kitchen giving Levi a thumbs-up. That means he also doesn't see Levi roll his eyes and respond with a gesture that's similar, only with a different finger. He's still staring dumbly down at his plate when Levi seats himself across the table. The sound of Levi's chair screeching across the floor gets his attention and he looks up from his plate and into smoky eyes looking _way_ too softly back at him.

 

"Captain... Is this... for me?" Eren's voice is meek and awed and he's too confused and overwhelmed to feel embarrassed by it.

 

"No, Eren, it's for the horses." Levi catches himself, his own nervousness manifesting as sarcasm, and he takes a deep breath to focus. "Yes, it's for you."

 

He pauses. Doesn't wait for Eren to respond.

 

"Levi."

 

"What?"

 

"Don't call me Captain."

 

"What??"

 

This brat is testing him. He sighs, reminding himself that this is what he wanted. That _he_ , Eren, the very one sitting across from him, is what he wants and he better treat Eren like a goddamn king tonight. Not like a soldier, not like a subordinate, not like anything other than what he is, which is the only person he wants to be sitting at this table with right now.

 

"Just eat your damn food before it gets cold."  Shit. Fucking _focus_ , Ackerman. Control yourself.

 

Eren squeaks, jolts upright in his seat, and looks so damn adorable doing it that Levi's heart feels like it's being squeezed. Levi watches Eren start to eat and he picks up the bottle of wine beside him, pouring some of the deep red liquid into Eren's glass before he fills his own.

 

It's not that the food doesn't smell absolutely divine, because it does. It's just that... he's not really concerned with tasting it at the moment. He's far too busy.

 

Too busy staring.

 

And smiling. It's creepy, really.

 

And gross. Really fucking gross. Absolutely goddamn _disgusting_ how lovestruck he is at the sight of Eren staring intently at his plate in the candlelight, there's probably even hearts and little chirping birds floating in the air around his head. It's _nauseating_ just how much he adores how _revoltingly_ cute Eren is with that glob of sauce on the corner of his mouth. Really, _really_ fucking gross.

 

Not Eren. Him.

 

Eren finally notices that he's the only one eating and when he looks up from his plate, he sees the Captain- no, _Levi_ \- staring at him. Again. He tries not to choke. Again. Levi is going to kill him one of these days.

 

"Sir- uh, _Levi_ , aren't you going to eat?"

 

_I already am._

 

"Is it good?" Levi's head is leaned against his closed fist, so he picks up his fork with the other hand, not quite ready to look away from those huge, terribly confused-looking green eyes.

 

"It's amazing! I can't remember ever tasting something so good. You have to try it!" Eren's nervousness has subsided now that he has some food in his stomach and something to focus on other than the Captain's- wait, no, Levi's, shit, _Levi's, holy shit I just called him Levi!_ \- weirdly dreamy eyes burning a hole straight through him.

 

_Erwin, I could kiss you. But I won't. Gross._

 

"Have you tried the wine yet?" Levi abandons his fork in favor of his wine glass, swirling it around before he brings it to his lips. He's still looking at Eren over the rim of the glass, watching, waiting, hoping that Eren likes it.

 

"Um," Eren's nervousness is back. "No, not yet."

 

He can't do this. Not with Levi watching him like that. But he can't let Levi down, either. _Holy motherfucking shit, I actually get to call him Levi!_

 

He steels himself. Picks up his glass. Takes a sip.

 

Grimaces.

 

Tries to cover up the grimace with a smile. Uses every ounce of strength he has not to spit it out. Thinks about how much worse it would be if he did. He'd stain the tablecloth. Or even, god forbid, spit it on Levi. Pictures Levi's furious face, blood red wine dripping down it and onto his cravat. If that's the last thing he sees before he dies, and it probably will be, he'd joyously welcome the cold embrace of death with open arms.

 

He forces the wine down with a heavy gulp.

 

There, now that wasn't so bad, was it?

 

It was.

 

"Well?" Levi is looking at him expectantly. Eren's never seen him look like that. It's like a puppy waiting for a treat. Levi is trying to kill him.

 

"Wow." That's all he can say. It makes Levi smile, though. That's motivation enough to chug the entire glass.

 

Until Levi pours more. Shit.

 

He _does_ have to admit that he's not feeling quite so nervous anymore. He's actually pretty relaxed now. And warm. And he can clearly see how happy Levi looks, which, in turn, makes him feel like he's walking on air, soaring through the clouds, flying through the trees on an endless length of wire and an infinite supply of gas. Besides, after the first glass it's really not so bad. _Why did I hate wine again?_

 

They finish their meal in silence. Perhaps it's a bit of an awkward silence, but it's a good awkward, Eren thinks. He's still not sure what the hell is going on, or why he's even here eating dinner alone with Levi. _Oh sweet, merciful Maria on a bread and butter bicycle, I'm actually calling him Levi!_   With candles and wine and what he's determined to be actual, real, honest-to-god _silver_ silverware (so that's why they call it that), or why Levi is still looking at him that way, and smiling at him, and bringing him cake (that's it, I'm leaving the Survey Corps and joining the Military Police, moving to the interior, and eating this for every meal until I die), and letting him finish _his_ cake (oh my god, an indirect kiss), and pulling his chair out for him, and walking him to the door, and not stopping there, but insisting on _walking him back to his room_.

 

_Oh my god. Armin was right._

 

\----

 

The hall outside Eren's shared room is dim, only two torches still lit in the entire length of the corridor. That's normal for this late hour and it's only coincidence that it seems like the candlelight in the dark mess hall has followed them up the stairs to preserve the mood. It makes them feel like they are in their own private world that extends only as far as the border where the light fades into darkness, nothing existing beyond that edge, nothing existing within but them. Firelight is magic like that when you're in love.

 

They're nearly at Eren's door. No one is awake at this hour and the entire floor is completely silent... Or it would be if there weren't two hearts furiously thumping loud enough to hear.

 

Levi's hand lightly touches Eren's lower back, guiding him the last few steps to his bedroom. It's only for a moment, but it's long enough to send a shiver up Eren's spine. Eren turns around to wish Levi goodnight but freezes, speechless.

 

They're staring at each other, green into grey (that is actually blue), teetering dangerously at the precipice that if either of them chanced to stumble over, there would be no hope of rescue.

 

Eren is transfixed by the vision of Levi before him, standing so close he can hear his heart beating, the dark eyes that gaze deeply into his own. He has to look away and that is his first mistake because his eyes settle on Levi's lips instead. They're barely parted and he can hear the quick, shallow breaths escaping from between them. They look soft. He wonders if they feel soft. He's never kissed anyone before. He's thought about it, though. Just like he's doing now. Would they be as soft as they look? Would they be warm? How would they feel against his own? Would Levi be gentle, or would he kiss him roughly, like he's starved, like he can't get enough, like he's going to devour him whole? How would he taste?

 

Eren's tongue pokes out to lick his lip. Levi sees it. He does the same. His heart pounds faster, harder, threatening to explode at any moment. They must be thinking the same thing. They have to be.

 

Levi is equally transfixed by Eren's lips. He sees how Eren's focus keeps moving from his eyes to his mouth and back again because his are doing the same. He _must_ be thinking it. He must want it as much as he does. Why else would he be looking at him like that? He moves a fraction of an inch nearer to Eren, gathering his courage.

 

Eren is utterly immersed in his fantasy of kissing Levi. His first kiss. Their first kiss. He's still staring at Levi's mouth. Dizzy, pulse racing, palms damp. He pictures those enticing lips forming the words he's imagined him saying so many times before. _Eren, I lo-_

 

Levi starts to lean forward.

 

Eren is interrupted by the alarming feeling of his stomach jumping up into his throat. He begins to panic, wondering just how long he's been daydreaming about Levi again, this time with Levi _standing right there watching him do it_. He wipes his sweating palms on the front of his slacks and the friction returns circulation and sensation to his body. He feels good, fuzzy, queasy, tingly, warm, lightheaded, breathless, terrified, elated, weak...

 

And then there's that one single strange and familiar sensation that feels slightly out of place, but also somehow... not.

 

He panics in double time now.

 

Eren skitters backward into the door with a bang that echoes down the hall, frantically searching for the doorknob, patting the rough wood, grasping blindly until he feels it but is unable to get enough of a grip to turn it because of all of the sweat on his palms. But he does eventually turn it, and he looks at a very stunned, very close Levi with a wide-eyed look of horror, words tumbling out of his mouth in a sloppy string of syllables as he falls into the space where he could have sworn the door was just a second ago.

 

_"Ihadagreattimethankyou!!!"_

 

Levi blinks at the door that has just slammed in his face so hard that it rattles in its frame.

 

"Good... night?"

 

Even though Eren is right on the other side of the door, pressing his back against it like he's trying to keep out an entire army of titans, he can't hear Levi. His heart is pounding in his ears. He's panting like he's just run a hundred laps. He's sure he's going to throw up. He's gasping and swallowing and to his horror, with a hysterical expression still on his face, he sees... Armin.

 

And Armin is wide awake and sitting up on his bed, lamp lit beside him, clearly having waited up for him and looking nearly as shocked as Eren, who he notices is now covering the front of his pants with both hands.

 

"Eren, what--"

 

Second mistake.

 

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!"

 

Eren couldn't hear Levi, but Levi sure as hell heard him.

 

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment of truth approaches.

 

 

Levi sees light bleeding out from under Erwin's closed office door. That means he's still up. _That bastard waited up for me._ It wouldn't have mattered to Levi either way, if he wasn't in his office, he'd just head right on over to Erwin's bedroom and wake his ass up, potential court marshal be damned.

 

The heavy wooden door slams open, the entire thing rattling on its hinges from the force, hitting Levi on his backside when the momentum bounces it back in his direction. He slams it even harder when he shuts it and the sound makes his throat tighten. That prodded at a sore spot. The wound is still too fresh for him not to be affected by it.

 

Erwin looks up from the paperwork he'd decided to do while he waited up for Levi. Might as well make good use of his time, plus there was the added bonus of keeping his mind off of what was happening downstairs so he wouldn't be so tempted to sneak off and spy on the pair.

 

"This can't be good."

 

Levi gnashes his teeth and gives a frustrated growl. Almost a whine, really. His fingers slide through his hair, which he notices is especially soft right now, reminding him again of what happened tonight, and it flutters up with the gust of air generated by his body falling back into his chair. He leans his head back, still groaning, pressing his palm so hard against his forehead that it leaves an imprint that slowly fades right before Erwin's eyes.

 

"Report."

 

"It was great."

 

"O... kay...."

 

"He loved it."

 

"O... kay..."

 

"I was going to kiss him."

 

"But?"

 

"Arrrgh," Levi growls again, hanging his head and burying it in his hands, shaking it from left to right. "He slammed his door in my face."

 

"What exactly... happened?" Erwin is both concerned and dismayed by what he's hearing, but it's too soon to jump to conclusions. He needs the full story.

 

"I walked him back to his room. He was just standing there, giving me those big old puppy dog eyes, and he kept looking... Fuck, it seemed like he wanted it. I thought he wanted it. So I leaned in, and I was _this close_ ," he illustrates it with his thumb and forefinger, and the distance between them is barely more than a hair's width. "And then he freaked out and slammed the door in my face. And then I heard him cursing and I didn't even get a chance to say goodnight."

 

"That's not necessarily as dire as it sounds."

 

"Why, Erwin? What the hell did I do? Why did he..."

 

"I know you're upset, but stop for a minute and think about it. I'm sure you've noticed how he acts when he's around you. I know I have."

 

"Yeah, he's always following me around like a goddamn puppy, wagging his tail and giving me those eyes, looking like he's about to piss on the floor like he's not housebroken."

 

"Why do you think that is?"

 

"Same reason everyone does it?"

 

"I can see why you'd think that, you _are_ known for being more terrifying than an aberrant titan. But that's not the case with Eren."

 

"Then what the fuck is it if it isn't that?"

 

"Levi, you're smarter than this. I'm disappointed."

 

"That makes two of us then."

 

Erwin sighs, his scalp tightening with the beginnings of another headache, courtesy of Levi. "The kid's head over heels for you. How can you not see that? I know that for a fact, so don't you argue with me."

 

"I never took you for a liar, Erwin. A manipulative bastard, but not a liar."

 

"As I said, I know this for a fact. A little bird told me. A _very_ reliable little bird."

 

"A little blond one, probably."

 

"See, I knew you weren't usually this stupid."

 

"Fuck you."

 

"Don't believe me then? Do you need more proof?"

 

"Then why the fuck did he shit himself when I tried to kiss him?!" Erwin is deeply disturbed by the undeniable look of pain on Levi's face. He'd only seen that look once before, and that was because his two closest friends were torn apart by titans right in front of him. For this boy to have that kind of effect on him? Well...

 

"I heard from that little canary that Eren is making everyone sick with his constant sighing and daydreaming and whimpering and being so hopelessly smitten with you that he trips and falls on his face because he's not watching where he's going because his eyes are glued on someone."

 

"Is _that_ why that happened?"

 

"You've seen it?"

 

"Just the other day. Tripped and ate shit right in front of everyone during training. Looked like he was going to cry. I helped him up and thought about murdering Kirstein for thinking that was just the absolute _pinnacle_ of comedy."

 

"Oh, Levi, you have no clue what you did to him, do you."

 

Levi looks down at his hands fidgeting in his lap, scratching and curling them into white-knuckled fists on the tops of his thighs to force them to be still.

 

"I'm pretty sure you sealed the deal right there. The cupid's arrow, so to speak. Levi," Erwin releases a long sigh of frustration. "He didn't kiss you because he was nervous. He'd probably worked himself up all night thinking about it. I don't think you need to worry about his feelings toward you. At all. You're going to have to try again. He's probably too scared to make the first move. You _are_ scary. But that's not why he ran away."

 

"What if you're wrong? I can't..."

 

"I'm not wrong. Why are you being such a coward about this? You're Humanity's Strongest Soldier and you're on the verge of tears over a boy?"

 

"Fuck you. I am _not_ on the verge of tears. You must be going blind as well as deaf, Commander Grandpa." Levi bites his lip and looks away. Fuck Erwin. Fuck him. How dare he think he'd ever cry?

 

"Try again. I know you can do this. There's no way he doesn't know how you feel about him now. That might have even reassured him enough to give him the courage to make the first move. But you can't wait for him to do it. I'm not going to let you."

 

"Erwin?"

 

"Do I need to make this an order, too?"

 

"I think I love him."

 

Erwin smiles. "Yes, I believe you do. Now sleep it off and get up bright and early tomorrow, march right up to his room and _tell him_. And if I hear from my little songbird that you did not kiss him, there are going to be grave consequences for you."

 

Levi covers his face with his hands again, this time outright _whining_.

 

_"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!"_

 

\----

 

 "Details. Now. Tell me everything."

 

Eren still hasn't caught his breath. He's in a daze, his head is spinning, he feels like he's going to puke. He hunches forward, hand on his head, his eyes wide and unblinking, mouth hanging open as if he'd been kicked in the stomach. He looks up at Armin with that same shocked look that's been on his face so long that it might get permanently stuck that way.

 

"What the hell happened to get you like this?"

 

"I panicked! I couldn't help it! Fuck, I ruined everything! He probably thinks I hate him! Armin, kill me!"

 

Armin pats the empty space on the bed next to him. "Sit. Here," Armin gives him the glass of water from the bedside table. "Pull yourself together. Now, tell me."

 

"I almost kissed him."

 

Armin practically explodes. "WHY DIDN'T YOU?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! You need to have your head examined, I can't believe you!"

 

"Armin, I panicked! I didn't know what to do! _Aaaaagh_ , I can't believe I ruined everything, I'm so stupid!" Eren shouts, and if he's not careful, he's going to wake the entire castle.

 

"Calm. The fuck. Down." That gets Eren's attention. Armin just _cursed_ at him. Holy shit.

 

"So. He gave you a romantic candlelight dinner. Walked you back to your room. Was probably about to kiss you before you lost your damn head and wussed out. I'm guessing this had something to do with that... _thing_ you were hiding."

 

"Maybe... Yeah..." His ears are instantly red.

 

"Okay. Good. That's good. I can work with this. This can be salvaged."

 

"How? He hates me! What if he saw?"

 

"He would _not_ have minded, let me tell you. Maybe you should have let him see."

 

"Armin! Oh my god! Shut _up_!" He buries his head in his hands in shame.

 

"Goddammit Eren, listen to me. It's not that big of a deal. There's no way he'd give up on you that easily. He's just as gone as you are over this."

 

"You don't know that!" He snaps his head up to shoot Armin a challenging, yet ever-so-subtly hopeful glare, slamming his fists on the bed beside him.

 

"Oh, I do. I heard it from a very reliable source that all that weird stuff he's been doing is him trying to _woo_ you. Did you hear that? He's been trying to get your attention this entire time and here you are, freaking out and being dense as usual. He's been thinking about you nonstop. He's just... not that great at showing it. But tonight? Did you seriously not realize that he was taking you on a _date_? Do you _know_ how many strings had to be pulled to set that whole thing up?"

 

"Wait, you _knew?!_ "

 

"Oops. Guilty. Throw me in jail. Now you shut up and listen to me. Tomorrow you're going to march your ass up to his door, bring him that tea set as an apology, which he is going to _love_ , by the way, and confess to him. I'm not going to let you out of this. If you won't tell him, I _will._ "

 

"How did you know about that?! Shit, Armin, what else aren't you telling me? That I've been hallucinating about a talking horse for the past three years?"

 

"I'm so serious right now. Don't try me. You are going to fix this and you are going to do it first thing tomorrow. No excuses. I'm going to make sure you do it. I'll get backup if I have to."

 

Eren whines, falling backwards onto the bed in defeat. How could Armin be so cruel? He's sadistic! Why is he even friends with him?!

 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

 

 

Armin conceals himself at the end of the hall where Levi's office is. He wasn't going to let Eren do this alone. He isn't _that_ cruel. Friends support each other. Besides, he owes Eren big time for pulling him out of that titan's mouth. Eren looks over to where Armin is peeking his head around the corner, pleading with his eyes, mouthing to him that he _can't do this, don't make me do this_. Armin furrows his brow, glaring at him as threateningly as his sweet little soul can manage, silently yet adamantly pointing at Levi's door.

 

Eren takes a deep breath, swallows, and squeezes his eyes shut before the fist that's poised in front of the Captain's door finally makes contact, the knock carrying down the hall. Eren can't see Armin's joyous grin, but it's definitely there.

 

He stands there for what seems like an eternity, though in reality it's only a few seconds. He holds his breath, the wrapped tea set protectively cradled against his body, and the tension of it all is about to kill him when at last he hears Levi's muffled voice from behind the door. He almost turns around and runs for his life right then and there because Levi sounds _pissed_.

 

"Enter."

 

Eren's shaking hand reaches for the doorknob, turning it in slow motion, the door creaking as it's slowly pushed open, and the obnoxious sound of hinges that desperately need to be oiled sours Levi's mood even more.

 

Eren stands in the open doorway and his mind goes blank. His breath leaves him. What was he supposed to do again?

 

"Eren?"

 

Levi's demeanor softens instantly and he looks with wide-eyed shock at Eren standing there holding a box tied with green ribbon that Armin picked out, something about it being the same color as his eyes, trust me, the Captain is going to _love_ it.

 

It's now or never. Better get it over with. He approaches Levi's desk, standing on the opposite side just _staring_ at him, and Levi is doing the same.

 

"H-Here. This is for you." His hands are still trembling when they reach out to hand the package to Levi, who accepts it, looks down at it for a moment, and then resumes looking at Eren with his grey eyes wider than Eren has ever seen them.

 

"This is for me?" Levi sounds dazed, awed, relief and disbelief clearly evident.

 

"I hope you like it. I just wanted to tell you that... that... I..." His heart is racing, cold sweat prickling the back of his neck. Levi is frozen in anticipation. "That I... li-..." He gulps. "That I liked last night, I had a great time and thank you very much. Um... that's all, see you later, Captain!"

 

Eren is out the door before Levi can process what just happened.

 

He can't decide whether to be overjoyed or crestfallen. This came out of nowhere and he's more confused than he's ever been. He was supposed to be the one to... But Eren... and what's with the... why did he... what time is it?

 

He pulls the ribbon, the bow falling untied onto the desk. He unfolds the paper, revealing a wooden box underneath. He slides the lid out of its groove and his heart stops when he looks inside.

 

It's a tea set. And it's beautiful. And Eren gave it to him. And...

 

He sits there for ages staring at it, so overwhelmed with emotion that he can't even function.

 

Is this a confession?

 

Or is it... a consolation prize?

 

\----

 

"Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable. I can NOT believe you."

 

"I couldn't do it! I froze!"

 

Armin looks furious. The smaller boy grabs Eren by the arm and drags him none too gently back toward the stairs, forcing him up each step, not even caring if he stumbles. _Oh no, you are not going to chicken out now._

 

"You get your ass back in there and do what you were supposed to! Don't make me go in there and do it for you because I will! I'll make you stand there and listen to me tell Levi how much of a scaredy-cat you are and how you don't have the balls to tell him you lo-"

 

"ARMIN STOP! Give me a minute!" They've arrived at the top of the stairs that lead up to Levi's office, where they _just_ were.

 

"No."

 

"Okay. Okay, look. I'll do it, I swear. Just let me calm down first. I need more time."

 

"You've had plenty of time. You're doing it today."

 

"Okay, but..."

 

"TODAY."

 

"Can it be later? I'm not prepared! Just... Just let me think about what to do a little longer!"

 

"Fine. Here's the plan. You tell Levi to meet you somewhere. Somewhere public so I can watch you. The courtyard, tell him to meet you in the courtyard after dinner. Tell him there. And I _will_ be watching you. Don't make me do something you'll regret."

 

\----

 

"We were supposed to be done an hour ago."

 

Levi is muttering under his breath to Erwin, who is sitting next to him at the table where a bunch of pompous assholes are still blathering on about this-or-that, he doesn't even know, he hasn't been paying attention at all for the entire meeting.

 

"Shh."

 

"Erwin, I have to go."

 

"I know, Levi, but I can't get you out of this. This is important."

 

"Why do I even need to be here?"

 

"Because Zackley specifically requested your presence. Now be quiet until this is done."

 

"Look, just tell them I had to take a shit or something."

 

"Hush!"

 

Levi stares at the clock, growing more furious and anxious with every passing second. If they shut the fuck up now, he'll probably make it just in time.

 

He can't stop picturing Eren sitting alone in the courtyard, looking around for him, wondering why he hasn't shown up. It's more than he can bear.

 

\----

 

"He's not coming."

 

The sun has set over the castle, and the blue hour is steadily fading into the darkness of night. There's a chill in the air, and the coldness from stone ledge Eren sits on beside Armin creeps deep into his bones.

 

"He'll come."

 

"It's been an hour. He's not coming."

 

"I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason, just wait a little lon-"

 

Eren springs up from where he's sitting, summoning enough rage to hopefully cover the crushing sadness in his voice. He shouts at Armin.

 

"You told me everything was fine! Well, _apparently_ you were wrong! God, I'm such an idiot!"

 

"Eren!"

 

"No! Don't talk to me, I don't want to hear it! I can't even fucking look at you right now. And don't you _dare_ follow me!"

 

"Eren, wait!"

 

It's no use. Eren storms off into the woods, leaving Armin to sit there alone in the dark courtyard. He knows he's not wrong. He's hurt, sure, but he's not _wrong_. He'll wait. He'll prove to Eren that he's not wrong.

 

\----

 

Levi is almost to the castle. He's pushing his horse to its limits, forcing it to gallop through its exhaustion. He knows the animal can handle it. It's never failed him before. They're on the final stretch, he'll get to rest soon. He'll be sure to bring him extra treats tomorrow to make up for it.

 

The entire ride back has been completely consumed with thoughts of Eren. The meeting with the higher-ups was far longer than he was told it would be and someone is going to pay _dearly_ for that, but he'll need to think of how to get his revenge later because there's something infinitely more important to take care of now. He can't stop picturing the disappointed look on Eren's face. He'd try to tell him that it wasn't his fault, that he tried to get out of it, that it was never his intention to stand him up. He'll be lucky if Eren ever talks to him again. This should never have happened. He should never have let this happen. Eren hates him now and it's all his fault. No. Wait.

 

It's _Erwin's_ fault.

 

\----

 

"Where is he?"

 

Levi nearly flies out of the saddle from how quickly he forces his horse to come to a halt when he finally arrives in the castle courtyard and sees Armin Arlert sitting on the stone ledge in front of the flowerbeds. Alone.

 

"I don't know! He ran off into the woods almost an hour ago! He thoug--"

 

Levi's kicked his horse back into a gallop before he can hear the rest of Armin's sentence. He heard all he needed to. He's already disappeared into the woods, not once looking back at Armin who just stands there staring at his back.

 

He doesn't actually know where he's going, only that he needs to get to Eren _now_. It'll do him no good to panic, so he focuses himself as much as he possibly can, trying to come up with some clue that will point him in the right direction. He knows this. Why can't he remember what he's supposed to do? He's done this a thousand times...

 

Footprints.

 

He silently thanks whatever god might be listening when he sees them. He can track Eren easily, especially with how careless Eren was about covering his presence. He'd normally reprimand him for that, but this is not titan territory and he is not at all angry about the trail of evidence that will lead him right to where he needs to be.

 

The tracks lead up to a small grotto, not very far into the woods at all. He's been here before. This is where they sometimes come to fish in the lake that's hidden by a wall of trees that surround it on all sides. Eren is here. He has to be. He urges his horse to a stop, much more gently this time, patting it in apology before jumping down from its back. The memory of Armin sitting by the castle flowerbeds reminds him. There's a bunch of the very same flowers in his saddlebag. He had no idea what the flowers in front of the castle were called and when he walked into the florist's shop demanding jonquil, he realized that he's been looking at them every day for years. He could have just taken them from the flowerbed and not had to pay out the ass for them in town. Doesn't matter.

 

He can see the shadowy shape of Eren sitting on the ground in front of the lake, the moon reflecting off the water, the slight motion of its mostly-calm surface glittering in its light.

 

"I thought I told you not to follow me! Leave me the fuck alone, Armin!" Eren's voice is angry. It cracks. There's something else there.

 

"Like _hell_ I will. Tch."

 

Eren is startled to hear that it's not Armin who has just ridden up behind him. His body jolts and he furiously wipes his face on his sleeves to hide his shame. When he's done, he stands to face the visitor.

 

"Captain?"

 

"Don't call me that." Levi strolls over to Eren until he's close enough to make out his features in the dark.

 

Eren doesn't say anything, only stares in disbelief.

 

"Eren... Are you crying?" It's dark, but that doesn't mean Levi can't see the redness in Eren's eyes and the rosiness on his face. "Fuck. I'm so sorry."

 

Eren remains completely still; shock, embarrassment, and elation assaulting him all at once.

 

Levi is the one who moves. He stands directly before Eren, gazing into his watery eyes, feeling far guiltier than he ever has in his entire life, and he's killed people before. He doesn't hesitate this time. His hand finds Eren's face, his thumb gently brushing the trails left by tears that run down his cheek. It's too much for him. He grabs Eren, pulling him close, wrapping both arms securely around him, holding Eren's body so tightly against his own that both of them can barely breathe.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

He has no intention of letting go of Eren. He holds him, only loosening his grip to stroke his hair in an attempt to comfort him. He'll take full responsibility. Whatever it takes to make Eren happy again, he'll do it. Eren has relaxed into the embrace and he doesn't want it to end, but he can't wait any longer. It's with no shortage of regret that he pushes Levi away, though he only separates their bodies just enough for them to see each other.

 

He looks into Levi's eyes and resigns himself to accept the truth. Armin was right.

 

"Levi," he whispers, searching the shorter man's face, finding no final trace of evidence there that could still prove Armin wrong. "I really want to kiss you."

 

Eren's eyelids begin to lower of their own will, but his eyes are still open enough to lock themselves onto the sight of Levi's lips so tortuously close to his own. The feeling of Levi's hand on the back of his neck startles them open again just in time to see the greatest sight they have ever beheld.

 

Levi is looking at him softly with eyes as heavily lidded as his own. His hand is so warm on the back of his neck, the arm around his waist is holding them so very close together. Levi angles his head just so, but stops before he can press their lips together. Eren holds his breath. Levi whispers something.

 

"Idiot."

 

And then that small hand is pulling Eren forward, pulling them together, and their lips meet for the very first time, and it is far beyond what either have ever imagined. They kiss slowly, gently, feeling the warmth of each other's mouths, the breaths tickling their faces, the steady acceleration of their pulses, the bubbling of joy and relief in their chests. They continue on for who knows how long, neither of them caring at all about the time. Hours, days, months, it could have been years, but it felt like only a heartbeat to them.

 

Breaking their kiss only when they have finally run out of breath, they continue to linger in that private world of theirs until they decide it is time to return home.

 

When they rode back to the castle that night, it was with Eren's arms around Levi's waist as he sat behind him in the saddle, their bodies pressed close, and with the barest trace of roses in the night air, whose scent will forever remind them of happiness.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after. The end.
> 
> (Of course they apologized to their best friends, too.)
> 
> Can you imagine:
> 
> "I love you."
> 
> "I know."
> 
> ahahahahaha


End file.
